Archive for August, 2016

America’s Greatness and How to Overcome it

Saturday, August 6th, 2016

Why is America the greatest nation in history? No other country provides a daily challenge and the need to utilize every physical, mental, and creative ability each day for its citizens. All of these abilities are called upon to solve the problems presented in opening American packaging. The necessary medications prescribed by one’s physician lie tantalizingly out of reach, visible, but unattainable. The dinner salad waits in its plastic coffin, close but unavailable. The plastic mausoleum of earphone or battery resists easy entry. Many ailing person has seen his medication crushed to powder lying scattered on the floor after futile attempts with nail scissors. However, using the correct tools and applying patient and skill, the challenges may be overcome. First, gather your tools.

The opening of American packaging cannot be done on a regular counter for fear of damaging its surface. The procurement of a small anvil will suffice. Do not jab at the imprisoned pill in its blister pack with a fingernail, or attempt the push-turn of roughened plastic tops. Have the following items handy: one EMT scissors, ordinarily used to cut seat belts; one needle-nose pliers; one rigid ladies’ hacksaw with small, medium, and large-toothed blades; two screwdrivers for prying off the outer lids of the push-and-turn type caps for your pills after the hacksaw has been used. The inner cap is a screw-on type. Save it for future bottles of the same size. The small acetylene torch, found in every well ordered home, is essential and far superior to razor blades, especially if the person using the blade is arthritic or has an unsteady hand. In fifteen or twenty minutes, one can open even the heavy plastic in which things like toys or grouped items are enclosed.

If one is wealthy enough hand wishes to save the energy required in the above activity, another option is available – that is to hire a criminal. Here, too, America leads in the umber and availability of its miscreants. Most criminals are out of work when they are not robbing banks and should be free to help you. Access them as in the following exchange: “Mike – I have a headache. Rush up her and open my bottle of aspirin.” He might answer: “Sorry, call Ken. I’m busy here at the old age home.” Most of these people have the necessary tools. A well-compensated criminal should be available for many years. With steady and necessary work, young offenders might be saved from prison and further anti-social behavior. Your fingers will be free of the disfiguring cuts and blisters you have been having for years.