Archive for October, 2015

America’s Greatness and How to Adapt to It

Friday, October 2nd, 2015

Why is America the greatest nation in history? No other country provides a daily challenge and the need for utilizing every physical, mental and creative ability in each of its citizens. All of these abilities are called upon in the operation of opening American Packaging. The necessary medication prescribed by one’s physician, lies tantalizingly out of reach, visible but not reachable. Her dinner salad waits in it’s plastic coffin, to be seen but not taken. The mausoleum of his iPad resists easy entry. Many an ailing person has seen his medication crushed to powder, only to lie scattered on the floor after futile attempts with nail scissors.

However, using the correct tools and applying patience and skill these challenges may be over come. First, gather the tools. Opening any of these packaging’s cannot be done on a regular counter top for fear of damaging it. The procurement of a small anvil will suffice, do not jab at the imprisoned pill in its blister back with a fingernail. Have the following items handy; one EMY scissors (ordinarily used to cut seat belts,) one needle-nose pliers, one ridged ladies hack saw, (with small medium and large toothed blades), two screwdrivers for prying off the outer lids of push and turn caps. After the hacksaw has been used, the inner cap is a screw top, save these for future bottles of the same size. A small ladies acetylene torch, one found in every well ordered home, is essential and far superior to razor blades, especially if the user has an unsteady hand. In fifteen or twenty minutes one can open even the heavy plastic that things like cell phones and iPads are enclosed in.

However, if one is wealthy enough, and wishes to negate the democratizing tendency that packaging presents, another option is available. And that is, to hire a criminal. Here too, America leads in the number and availability of its criminals. Go on-line and access Santa Clause to find if the prospect is naughty or nice. Hire a nice one. Most criminals are out of work unless they are robbing banks, and should be free to help you. Access them in the following exchange, “Mike and I have a headache rush up here and open my bottle of aspirin.” He might answer, “Call Ken I am busy here at the old age home.” Make sure the criminal you hire has the tools necessary, most of them do. A well-compensated criminal should be serviceable for many years.